“I allow the truth to be the truth, no matter how much I may want it to be something else.” Jonathan Maberry (Dust and Decay)
I don’t do a lot on social media. I post an occasional photo if I’ve seen or done something special that I think family or friends might be interested in. I may post something “political” if I’ve got my panties in a real twist, but prefer not to as I’m not aware of anyone who has ever changed their mind because a clever little meme convinced them they were wrong.
I certainly have my opinions and perspectives, but I prefer to share them with those who ask. Everyone is entitled to their opinion; their right to be wrong. That’s true for you, me, and everyone in between.
Most religions include a form of what is often called the Golden Rule: Do unto others what you would have others do unto you (or the converse: Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want done to you.). If I don’t want fiery coals heaped on my head or trash dumped on my feed, it would be unseemly to do so from my end.
I feel bad for people who use social media to report their woes. I don’t mind folks asking for prayers or sharing their concerns, of course. I’m not always sure what I can do when something bad happens to those I know or love, but I can at least pray for them and for their situation.
But I’m not sure that those digital spaces in which we dawdle are the best places from which to vent about those who’ve “done them wrong.” I think many folks have become addicted to venting, though.
It used to be that one wouldn’t air their “dirty linens” in public; it would dishonor the family. Keeping up appearances was important. I’m no prude, and I would never want to toss people back into closets or force folks to live a lie, but I’m not sure we know what boundaries are any more. There are some things I’d rather not see, and some things I’d rather not hear, or some things I’d rather not know about.
We seem to have become a world of voyeurs and exhibitionists; we’ve lost the capacity to restrain ourselves. I’m sad when a couple is having problems in their marriage, or when one’s co-workers behave irresponsibly, but I’m not sure the internet is the best place to air those grievances. For one thing, those who could possibly help are least likely to be spending time looking for folks to rescue. They live in bat caves, looking for bat signals; they’re not cruising social feeds looking for troubled souls strewn amongst cute-kitty posts.
No, the place to vent is with a friend, in person, huddling over a cup of coffee, tea, or alternate beverage (when the sun’s gotten over the yardarm). For serious situations, having a pastor or therapist is important. Otherwise, venting should be left to devices designed to handle pressure.
Jesus suggested that the person with whom to address problems or issues is the person with whom one has an issue, or who may have an “ought” against them. Such a meeting is better held in private, and the focus needs to be on fixing the problem, not the blame. When someone airs a grievance in public, their goal isn’t to fix the matter, but to gain allies. They’re not interested in making peace, but in waging war and winning battles.
It may not always work, of course. Leopards can’t always change their spots; scorpions will continue to sting, for that is their nature; bullies will continue to believe themselves to be the aggrieved victims of life. Still, Jesus didn’t call us to be successful (he ended up on the cross, didn’t he?); he called us to be faithful. “Go, deal with them in private. If that doesn’t work, ask for help. Take care of the brush fire so it doesn’t become a towering inferno!”
That means finding constructive ways to vent. The world makes more than enough victims. Our job is to make amends as needed, restore relationships where possible, and to be peace-makers, always, here in this our valley.
Keith Axberg writes on matters concerning life and faith. Author of: Who the Blazes is Jesus? Good News for a Vulgar World (available through Amazon in Print and e-book)
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