A Civil Path

I like people with depth, I like people with emotion, I like people with a strong mind, an interesting mind, a twisted mind, and also that can make me smile. Abbey Lee Kershaw

We have embarked on a new year, and it is officially referred to as an election year. I cringe because much of the past three years in America has been so acrimonious as to fatigue even the stoutest of hearts.

I am pleased as punch that I am not a political analyst or pundit. I have the privilege of writing on matters of life and faith. There may not be a whole lot of depth or meat in what I have to say, but if the lions starve on the floor of the Coliseum, I’m not going to cry.

It seems strange that so many people say they yearn for peace and harmony while simultaneously hoisting their flags and rattling their sabers. Although modern light sabers are more given to humming than rattling, the effect is the same: dread.

Dread. One letter more than Dead. It’s not that far off, is it?

I was speaking to a friend of mine who happens to fall on a section of the political spectrum outside my own sphere of influence, but we get along fine. How?

To start with, we don’t call each other names. Labels are fine if they’re affixed to cupboards so one can find the plates or the drawers with the silverware, but they aren’t as helpful when dealing with people. For one thing, labels are often wrong.

The story is told of a woman who frequented a high-end clothing store. The store would open early or stay open late in order to cater to her whims. She would phone ahead, and the manager in the clothing department would pre-select items she was sure the woman would be interested in buying, and she would remove the proper labels and replace them with Size 2. No matter what the mirror told the customer, she was convinced she was a size 2, and had the labels to prove it!

No, people are far more complex than labels, so we honor one another by ignoring the labels we might be tempted to use, and actually talk to one another.

It is our church’s tradition (and calling) to “respect the dignity of every person.” I’m pretty sure that comes from the Bible, whether it is a direct quote or not. While Jesus may have argued with his enemies (and we do have enemies in life), his challenge to them was always to “be better than that.” Again, that’s not a direct quote, but I am sure it is an accurate reflection of what was in his heart at the time.

There are people whose decisions and actions clearly violate the tenets of their faith. Mine sure do. None of us is perfect, and while I would love to think myself rational and reasonable and one who mostly pleases God with the things I say or do, I know I fall short of that ideal, and I have no doubt there are folks who could find plenty of evidence to bear witness to my shortcomings.

So the second thing that enables civil discourse is having a sense of humility when offering our thoughts: I think I am right, but I could be wrong. Let’s talk about it. That’s called conversation. We talk.

If my friend and I debate, it is with minds open to hearing what the other has to say. Each of us has a story. Each has experiences that help to shape our perspectives, so we respect the dignity of the other by honest listening.

My hope as we move forward into 2020 is that we will each find ways to build one another up. Even when we are most distressed by what we see or hear on the news, know that it is barely a blip on eternity’s radar. If a butterfly flapping its wings in Beijing can cause the sun to shine in NYC in the place of rain, our little acts of civility can surely move the needle of grace far beyond what we might otherwise imagine.

That’s my hope and prayer for 2020 in this, our valley. Peace!