Though the Lord be high, God cares for
the lowly; God keeps his distance from the haughty. – Psalm 138
I was going through some old papers the other day and ran
across this gem: Identify a problem you have and work through (the following)
steps to solve them. Make sure the problem is YOURS to solve. Don’t solve
someone else’s problem.
I like solving problems. That’s good, because I’m also an
expert at creating them (problems, not solutions). Try as I might to
communicate clearly, succinctly, and accurately, someone invariably goofs up
down the line. Sometimes that someone is me. Sometimes it is the other person.
Either way, when the problem arises, I do try to find out what happened and fix
it. What doesn’t work (I’ve learned) is to get angry or fix blame.
On my Dad’s kitchen window is a placard that’s sat there
for years. The bit of wisdom it contains is: It is better to love than to be
right.
Now, my ego would prefer to be right, and the fact is I’ve
never had an argument where I didn’t think I was right or in the right from the
start. It would be silly to start an argument knowing or believing one is mistaken,
in error, or outright wrong.
Now, I know people who would argue the sky is green for the
sake of argument. They love the adrenaline rush that comes from being in a
fight. But that person’s not me.
I’ve also learned over the years that if one puts
themselves in the shoes of the other person (which, admittedly, makes for a
crowded pair of shoes) and looks at the matter from their perspective, they too
may have a point. So why fight? Why not listen carefully, weigh the facts as
best one can, and look for a solution that works for everyone?
I remember learning about a thing called “The Common Good” when
I was growing up. The idea they talked about was remembering we are not alone
in this world. It required acknowledging there are other people – whether in
this family, community, or world – and that they have as much right to be here
as we do.
As a child growing up in a tiny home housing six people with
one bathroom, each of whom had to rise and shine and get off to work or school,
cooperating was critical. We had sufficient food for our meals, and we served
ourselves, but we each took care to moderate our portions so that everyone
would have what they needed for their own plates.
We also had one television, but reception was so poor (and with
the constant rolling of a picture we could not stabilize) there wasn’t much
fighting over programming. With three channels, we always had a 33% chance of
watching the show we wanted to anyway.
No, when one looks at life from the shoes or sandals of
their neighbor, it is amazing how many issues can be avoided. That doesn’t mean
we need to become doormats, of course.
It seems people are more aggressive and obnoxious of late. I
think a good portion of that is due to our continued and continuing isolation.
Everyone has their own television; each of us has nose buried in our computer,
tablet, or cellphone. People utilize social media as a megaphone for their pet
projects or from which to projectile vomit their displeasure at others. Wasn’t
it nice when the worse we saw on social media was the oatmeal someone had at
Denney’s with a loved one?
We often talk about all our connections, and yet it seems
that our connections have divided us. Not only that, but we can block one
another with ease. Say something I don’t like? Block! Problem solved … or is
it?
No, the problem isn’t solved. It’s only been made worse,
because blocking another person denies them their place in your life. A lawyer
asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” His question was a coin with another side:
“Who is NOT my neighbor?”
Jesus’ answer, in sum was: Your neighbor is the one you’d
rather be dead than to have them touch you.” Ouch!
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