GOSSIP

A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. Proverbs 16:28

What’s the difference between news and gossip?

It is no secret that I like to watch and read the news; I like to know what’s happening in the world, and I appreciate thoughtful commentary from time to time. But what’s the difference between news and gossip?

I ask because the other day I left church to find cars in the parking lot pasted with flyers casting aspersions against a candidate involved in a local election. I am too new to the community to know the person in question, but I know a hatchet job when I see it. The message was almost literally: Don’t vote for this person because he didn’t tell us something about himself that would have cost him votes!

 How strange, that a person would cast himself in a manner that would attract your vote. It seems that’s how most of us get jobs in life: presenting ourselves – best foot forward.

In any event, I found the flyer offensive because it was, at best, perverse gossip-mongering, and I have seen too many lives destroyed by malicious slander, half-truths, and innuendos masquerading as “facts”, and if one desires to be a child of God, one must put away their desire to hear gossip, and the desire to spread it.

So, what exactly is gossip? It is telling any story that is not yours to tell. That’s how I see it.

It is my prerogative to tell you what I think or what I did and how I feel. It is my right to decide what to tell you and what not to tell you about my life. If I am having a problem with someone, I may enlist your help to solve it, but the focus is not on making the other person look bad (or me look good), but to find a way to build a better relationship.

Where does gossip come from? As best I can tell, there are several reasons people gossip. First, it gives the tale-bearer a sense of power. They are “in the know” and their status rises with the more they know and the better they’re able to divulge the salacious details of the matters to which they are privy. They discover they are able to attract a crowd, and that people trust them; there is little that is more addictive than having the cheers and applause of an audience yearning to hear more (ask any preacher or comedian).

Secondly, gossip provides a platform upon which to stand in judgment of others. At issue is not what the other has said or done, but what it says about their character. Gossip is designed to maim and weaken the other. If we judge one’s actions, then we stand over them. We believe we stand taller, but it is an illusion; it is caused by standing on the necks of those we’ve been able to throw down.

Third, and most importantly, gossip is a symptom of faithlessness. We have been called to share good news, to build God’s kingdom, to lift up those who are down, and to comfort those who are in trouble. People who are busy doing the work God has given them do not have the time to engage in matters of gossip.

Gossip is bred out of boredom, so if one is interested in changing – of no longer being a gossip-monger, there are a few things one might try.

First, if you find yourself talking about someone else, stop. If they aren’t present, stop. If you do not tell a tale, there is nowhere for it to go, so let it stop somewhere between your brain and teeth. Don’t let it out of that ivory cage of yours.

Secondly, when in doubt, ask yourself if the statement or story will build you up, or the other. If it builds you up, stop. No one needs your ego running wild. If it will build the other person up (I saw Jan stop the runaway locomotive!), then feel free to share it – but ask permission first, and honor their desire.

Thirdly, be content doing what God put you on earth to do. Get busy doing your job, and unless you are a tissue, keep your nose out of other people’s business in this, our valley. Shalom.

Things that Matter

"One is glad to be of service."Bicentennial Man

Sitting in the comfort of the living room where I am staying, I find myself mesmerized by the ever-changing weather on and around Fan Mountain in the nearby distance.

I am a city boy through and through. I can’t deny it, and I cannot help it. That is part of my story – a large part – and it is what it is. I have generally been surrounded by the hustle and bustle of city life: honking horns, jostling crowds, sirens wailing, and air you can see; ah, now that’s living!

But the times, they are a changing. The pace of life here is different. It’s slower, quieter, and, generally speaking, more peaceful. There is time and space in which to think, and that is a wonderful gift for one who tends to be more of a doer than a thinker.

In appreciating the natural beauty that currently surrounds me on all sides, I find myself wondering if that appreciation shouldn’t be transferred to all material things. I mean, there is so much we take for granted, like our tools of the trade, household dishes, knick-knacks, fixtures, and the like. We value them when we don’t have them – like when they break or disappear – but do we really appreciate them as the gifts they are?

I know my computer is manufactured, as are the cups from which I drink, and the lights by which I read, and yet are they any less gifts of nature than the mountain I see out my window, or the tree beside the house? Do we treat those things with less reverence because they are “man-made”? Do we treat them well only because there is a cost to repairing or replacing them?

I know a woman who, if she accidentally slams a door, will return, open and close it properly, and apologize to the door for being careless. While many would consider her eccentric, I wonder if she doesn’t have a tighter grasp on what it means to be a godly steward than the rest of us who wouldn’t think twice about a slammed door (except in yelling at our kids to quit slamming the door because it irritates us, and not because it hurts the door’s feelings).

There are some people who perceive everyday objects as manifestations of “the Beloved” and who incorporate acts of devotion to honor the Blessed One, such as kissing the cup from which they drink, or the rug upon which they offer their prayers. They aren’t worshiping these objects (as idolaters), but honoring the One from whom all blessings flow.

Recognizing everything has its ultimate source in the Creator of the Universe, shouldn’t we give more thought to offering thanks in appreciation – not just for all we have, but for all that is?

Perhaps it is not enough to respect the dignity of every person; perhaps we would do well to respect the dignity of all that exists. Those objects provide us with a service, whether helping us in our writing, cooking, or other practical matters, or by beautifying the world in which we live, through color, design, or just plain whimsy.

We are being served, and these objects ask for nothing in return. Does that mean we shouldn’t offer them something – even something as simple as a kiss or nod of recognition?

I tip my hat in appreciation of the beauty of Fan Mountain; I think I will try to appreciate the rest of the world that surrounds me – both the sacred and the profane – and see if that doesn’t please and honor God more over the long haul here in this, our valley.

Home

"Home, home on the range, where the deer and the antelope play …."

I was driving along Highway 287 in Montana the other day, just south of Ennis, and spied a small herd of pronghorn antelope grazing off in the field not too far from the Rusty Star where I was staying. One of the critters bolted upright and “alerted” – turning and twitching his ears every which way like radar antennae.

“What did you hear?” inquired one of his grazing companions.

“I thought I heard a discouraging word, but was mistaken” he replied, and then drifted back to his ruminations.

I have had the great fortune of living in a number of different places in my life, but the one thing for which I am most thankful is that in all my travels and sojourns, I have never been any place I couldn’t call “home” (from Middle English hām).

That’s where the term for a small town (hamlets – or homelettes, if you will) comes from. Interestingly, the words home and haunt share the same root (heim haunt = homewards). I don’t know what to make of that, but I found it fascinating; and it may explain why the places we go are frequently referred to as local haunts. They aren’t places where ghosts dwell, but where our spirits freely pass in and out – where we feel most at ease.

Home, to me, is never about geography; rather, it is about that which attracts. I am drawn to home, because that is where my heart yearns to be. I am drawn to home, because that is where my family lives. I am drawn to home, because that is where I find my wife – the love of my life – and I yearn to be with her. I am drawn to home, because that is where I can be most real – and I yearn to be real. Home is an attractive place, with its own special gravitational pull.

I think I am able to feel at home in so many different places and around so many different people because I have discovered that God has made a place for me in his own heart, so that wherever I go, God is there. God is attractive, and I have never known a time when I was not yearning to be with him – and the great joy of life is discovering that God yearns to be with each of us.

I suspect many of us dwell in the heart of God and simply haven’t discovered the truth of the matter. Like young Dorothy of Oz, we travel the yellow brick road of life trying to get back home, only to discover the magic is as close as our very own heels.

Although I feel at home wherever I am, I must also confess that there are times I feel I am a stranger living in a strange land. I suspect there may some gypsy blood in me, for as content as I may often be, there is always a tugging at my heart, a desire to explore yet other places, other peoples, and other things.

This restlessness is not a bad thing. On the contrary, it is a delight; it is motivational. It gets us up out of our easy chairs and into the scrum of life. It’s dirty, it’s messy, it’s chaotic, and it’s unpredictable – but so what? I would rather wear out from activity than rust away in my hermetically sealed castle. If one seldom leaves home, can it be said that one is really even living?

Maybe the antelope and deer seldom hear discouraging words out there on the range because home is not defined by or contained by four walls and a roof, but by their relations with the Creator of all things, and of all peoples. They are what they are, and that’s enough for them.

May it be that way for all of us in this, our world. Peace and blessings to you, from my home to yours.

Maturity

"You promote yourself every time you take on a new responsibility." William Gore

Well, I finally did it. I bought one of those electronic book devices so I could have the convenience of being able to hold a thousand volumes in the palm of my hand; to read at my leisure; and to go to whatever book happens to strike my fancy at any time of day or night. I love it!

I didn’t think I would ever say that, but I do. Actually, it would probably be more accurate to say I truly appreciate it, for “love” should be a term of endearment reserved for people and deities. Never-the-less, I do like my device.

It does have a problem common to electronic devices, however: power. I opened it up to read a daily devotional and … nothing. I thought I had powered it off last night, but apparently not, and so the battery was dead this morning. I must confess my Bible has never let me down that way, and neither have my magazines or other reading materials.

But, that’s life. We need to change or adapt as we make our way through this tangled thicket. Since I couldn’t read right away, I simply plugged the (rhymes with “book”) into the power supply and moved on to the next item on my agenda – writing.

You might suspect that I am not scratching this out with stylus and wax tablet, and your suspicion would be correct. Nor am I using quill and parchment, pen and paper, or even a typewriter. No, I am using a laptop computer and, when finished, will send this along neither by messenger, post, nor telegram, but via the internet where, with any luck, it will be in my friend and editor’s electronic Inbox within minutes (if not seconds).

Some people embrace change and others bristle at it, but what I have found is that while change is inevitable, misery is a choice. Some changes may be painful or awkward, but most seem to take place imperceptibly.

Have you ever gotten a breath of fresh air? Have you tried to hang onto it forever, because it is so good? No, of course not; life requires the constant exchange of new air for old. Even the freshest air will quickly grow stale as the body exchanges carbon dioxide for much needed oxygen.

So, we breathe normally and don’t think twice about it. The change isn’t painful – it is automatic, as it was designed to be.

One of the things I have found helpful in building a better relationship with change is learning to take the initiative – to be responsible.

Change seems to be more painful when it is imposed upon us from others. We can fight it with cries of “it isn’t fair” or “that’s not right,” but once a change has been implemented, it takes an act of Congress to take it back (or five gray-hairs on a bench – but we’ll save that discussion for another time).

Since we know change is inevitable, we can take the initiative in directing and controlling a lot of the changes we face.

I have a friend who absolutely hates his job. He wants to change jobs, but it is a tough market out there for job seekers. He cannot change the attitude or behavior of the people he works for, so he chooses, instead, to be a good, gracious, and effective employee so that when an opportunity presents itself to move on, he has an attitude others will want to bring on board.

In other words, he chooses what sort of person to be; he doesn’t let others mold him or twist his character; he goes the extra mile; he does his work with a smile; and he cleans up messes he finds in the aisle. He’s the kind of man I want to be when I grow up!

Spiritual maturity involves choosing to be the kind of people God wants us to be despite everything the world does to stamp or crumple us into something else.

Maturity is choosing not to play the victim, or to be the victim, but to be personally responsible for being and becoming the kind of people God intended us to be from the beginning of time.

That is a change worth embracing in this, our world. Peace!

Drop the Rocks

I will set a good example for someone else today. I will be living proof of the maxim "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." Anon.

A friend recently told me a story – sort of a modern parable he had heard or read recently – that I would like to briefly share with you.

The story is told of a boat leaving port on a journey of exploration and discovery. A woman was late getting to port for one reason or another, thus missing the boat. She wanted to be on it so badly though, she jumped into the water and began to swim as fast as she could to catch up.

The passengers cheered her on, but she was moving too slowly; what is worse, she was struggling to stay afloat as she held a stone in each hand – making her efforts most futile.

Seeing her predicament, the explorers kept up their encouragement; they cheered her on, they clapped and whistled, they motioned for her to hurry up, but all to no avail.

Finally, one seasoned veteran decided that encouragement was not enough; nor could they stop the boat and turn around; instead, it would be up to the swimmer to do something quite radical, and so he called out to her through the megaphone, “Drop the rocks! Let go of the rocks!”

Hearing his advice, and knowing how the load was not just slowing her down, but likely would lead to her death, the woman dropped the stones from each of her hands, and swam quickly and safely to the slow-moving boat.

We continue our journey through Lent, a journey which truly is one of exploration and discovery. One challenge we face is knowing what to do with what we find, but more challenging yet is knowing what to leave behind as we begin (or began) our journey.

We tend to short-change ourselves if we limit our Lenten disciplines to inconsequential matters, like giving up chocolates or cookies for six weeks.

Lent only has lasting value when we identify things that hold us back, weigh us down, or that prevent us from being the kind of people God would have us be. Lent is a season that invites us to “drop those stones” – not just for survival, but for making progress on our journey of discovery.

What are the rocks that hold you back?

I can’t answer that question for you, but a good place to start would be those character defects that are pretty universal in nature: Sloth (refusing to take care of one’s responsibilities); Lust (refusing to love what one already has); Anger (preferring revenge over understanding); Pride (an oversized ego on steroids); Envy (turning a blind eye to what one has); Gluttony (abusing what one has received from God); and Greed (grabbing all one can at the expense of others).

No one has to wait for Lent in order to address the many things that separate us from being the people God wants us to be. No one has to stop changing, either, when the season of Lent has run its course.

One of the great joys of life is being able to admit that we are human, which means we are created in the image of God and able to be far better than we sometimes are. It also means that we are capable of doing far less than we ought, or doing far worse than is pleasing to God, loving to neighbor, or honorable to self.

Being human means we aren’t perfect, but we can improve; we can make progress in life. All it takes is a willingness to drop our rocks and to keep swimming. It means asking God, in prayer, to help along the way.

I believe God is MORE than willing to help us become the people God wants us to be – because God loves us THAT much.

At least that’s what I think this week in this, our world.

Intentions

“God does not wait for the world to get ready, He enters right into the mess…because He comes for the messy.”Katie Davis, missionary to Uganda

Lent is upon us – the season of Spring Cleaning for the Soul. That’s a good thing. I could use a good dusting every now and then, and now is as good a time as any.

I suspect that if one were to conduct a poll, fewer and fewer people today would know what Lent is than would have known a decade or two ago. It seems (in a completely unscientific and biased opinion based upon personal observation) that attention has increasingly been drawn to Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras, or Carnival – times of decadent feasting and merriment, followed by nausea, headaches, and memory loss. Wait, I am sure there is a pill for that!

Lent is increasingly becoming a lost and forgotten season. Even amongst those who honor the forty day season of self examination, prayer, and fasting, making it through all forty days unscathed is rare. One woman admitted to me yesterday, “If I make it one week past Ash Wednesday with my good intentions, that’ll be a miracle!”

What is so hard about Lent?

Perhaps the difficulty lies in not really understanding what the season is about. I call it Spring Cleaning for the Soul because that helps me to understand it better. There is a lot in life that gets in the way of my having a good or better relationship with my family, my friends, my community, and my God. One of the biggest barriers is my “intentions.”

See, I always want people to judge me based upon my intentions, because my intentions are always good – or so I tell myself. I didn’t mean to miss the party, I had the time wrong. I didn’t mean to forget to bring flowers home for Valentine’s Day; I just got too busy handling world crises. I didn’t mean to run into the light pole; it just happened to be on the sidewalk where I was driving.

As I have gotten older, of course, I have come to learn that people don’t judge one another based upon intentions, but upon actions. When the repair people don’t show up as scheduled, I don’t care what their intentions were; I care about their broken promise. When a person doesn’t return a phone call, I don’t care what their intentions were; I care about their letting me down.

I suspect that many people who believe in God in one form or another intend to honor God in a variety of ways; honoring God by being truthful, kind, honest, and generous of spirit. However, in practice, we often find there is a bit of a gulf between intentions and actions. The purpose of Lent is to work to close the gap between intents and actions.

We do not try to earn salvation by giving up chocolates, meats, or sweets, or by giving more generously to godly causes, or praying more fervently during this forty day season; rather, we simply strive to draw closer to God – acknowledging our actions don’t always live up to our ideals.

When I was a child and asked to dust the house on cleaning day, I would pick up knick knacks and dust under them; I would dust between every slat on the window blinds; I would dust the top, sides, and bottom of every piece of furniture ever so carefully – as long as Mom was in the room. But the moment she left, I figured everything the dust rag came within ten feet of was “properly dusted.”

In maturity, I dust properly – not because someone is watching (although that still helps a little) – but because that is the right thing to do; that’s the right way to do it.

Lent invites us to draw closer to God, not because God (or neighbor) is watching, but because drawing closer to God is the right thing to do. Spending time in prayer, meditating on scripture, eating healthy meals in smaller portions, and giving more generously to those in need – those are all ways to draw closer to God, and to help shrink the gap between our intentions and our actions.

I would suggest that might be worth trying out in this, our world. Have a blessed and holy Lent!

Tinker's Delight

"It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong, than to be always right by having no ideas at all." Edward de Bono

I am a tinkerer. I like to tinker with things. I own a small videography business and have packed, unpacked, repacked, configured, and reconfigured my equipment countless times. The goal is always the same: to improve what I have. I want to be able to set up more quickly; I want to be able to produce videos in high definition and with excellent audio; and I want people to know when they call on me for service, that they will get more than their money’s worth.

What I strive to do in my vocational life is simply to be the best I can be with what I have in hand, and to improve my business through continuing education, upgrading equipment, and paying attention to what people need on every job I do.

I have found that most of the time the results are good. My single dissatisfaction rests with my inability to repackage my equipment in a way that lightens my load. I simply need to haul as much as I’ve got in order to do what needs to be done. It simply takes what it takes – nothing more and nothing less.

Everything I have is something I need to have for when the occasion calls for it. Many things I have packed aren’t needed for any particular job, but when I DO need it, I can’t put the work on hold while I “run home to get it.” I have to have it “within reach” or it is no good having it at all.

Developing a spiritual life is something like operating a business. It takes an investment of time and education to first get into it; one generally benefits from having a mentor or guide along the way to help answer questions or point out potential solutions; and it takes a willingness to tinker with what we do and how we do it so that, over time we become better at what we do.

What we cannot afford to do in developing our spirituality is to stop tinkering. Life doesn’t stop. Life continues to change. Yesterday’s answers do not always meet today’s needs, and what works well today may not work so well tomorrow.

And so we tinker; we play; we learn; we try; we fail; we falter; we stumble; and we move forward.

I find a life of tinkering to be quite fun. I enjoy the challenge of finding solutions to problems. There are times when things are going well that I certainly don’t want to mess with them; that much is obvious. However, I find that when things are going well, I tend to become complacent, so that when something needs attention, it is easier to miss the signs that problems are looming.

So it helps me keep my head in the game to tinker. I like knowing what worked well yesterday, but only in-so-far as it can help me know how I might do better today and tomorrow.

If you find yourself in a bit of a rut in life, try something new. Move your furniture; change the decorations around your home; tackle that bird’s nest behind the desk. Nothing in life will stop working just because you decided to organize your cables. And if it does – what then?

Call a friend. Life is more fun when you tackle a job with someone who can join you in the adventure. At least that’s what I think in this, our world.