This, Our Valley: What to do when your life is stuffed

 

"It takes time to live. Like any work of art, life needs to be thought about.” Albert Camus

Where does stuff come from? Every morning I strive to rise and shine, but these days I find myself less vertical as I rise, and I’m not sure “shine” comes close to describing the state of my mind or body as my joints and tendons snap, crackle, and pop into place as I make my way through the darkened manse, seeking to relieve that which needs relieving.

Fortunately, it doesn’t take but a few sips of the blackened brew of some magical beans to put the lead back in my pencil. I always feel like I’m one of those Thanksgiving Day balloons that rises from a shapeless pile of rubber, taking form as it’s inflated. Coffee is my helium!

Back to “stuff” – where does it all come from? Once I’ve gotten my coffee and tackled my morning meditations, I fire up my laptop to check the news (to see if the world has survived) and catch up on any emails that may have arrived by those faithful digital carrier pigeons we rely on. 

What I find choking my inbox (which is helpfully divided into separate tabs for Primary, Promotions, Social, and Update mails) is all the stuff to which I have subscribed and which isn’t, technically, junk mail or spam. It’s just a ton of fliers from every business from which I have ever bought stuff, or businesses that have products I may have been interested in at one time or another over the past thirty years, or trivia pertaining to sports, entertainment, language, education, health, and other such whatnot. Sheesh!

I am a curious sort of soul, so I find myself doing a lot of exploring. My income is limited, so most of my exploring these days is done from the convenience of my home and done via the world wide web. I find myself going down many rabbit holes on my journeys, and I am seldom bored by what I find (while the quantity of information exceeds the quality exceedingly).

Which brings me back to my original question. Where does so much of that stuff come from, and how does one choose which lane to travel? I mean, even Robert Frost never makes clear which road he eventually took when he came to the fork. He just ponders the mystery of what he might find if he were to choose right from left, the more traveled or less traveled path – and the sorrow that comes with making a decision without knowing what might have been missed if the decision had gone the other way.

Life is like that, though. Clutter. Options. Choices. Decisions (or, in my case, indecisions). 

It doesn’t take a lot of brain power to run down the list of overnight stuff that’s come in, enter checkmarks in those little boxes next to each missal, and delete the whole shootin’ match. It doesn’t take but a few seconds, but it’s a few seconds I’ll never get back. Will I miss them? Probably not. 

It just gives me something to grouse about, and the positive side of that reality is that one has to be alive to grouse about the state of things.

That’s the positive side to grumbling (beyond pulse and respiration). There is knowing that things could be better, can be better. To grouse is to say, “I don’t like how things are now,” and then adding, “so what might I do to make them better?”

Emails are easy. Delete what you don’t want. Unsubscribe to things you never read. If you need something, see if it can be acquired locally instead of through an online resource or retailer. The pandemic crisis is over, so it’s OK to leave the house, enjoy the sunshine, snow, rain, or wind. It’s OK to go for walks, wave to the neighbors, rake fallen leaves (or roll around in them), or stop to chat with friends at the local hardware store or grocer.

The point is, deal with stuff as it comes and don’t be such a stuffed shirt. Live! As Camus says, "It takes time to live. Like any work of art, life needs to be thought about.” So let’s put on our thinking caps and live here in this, our valley!

Keith Axberg writes on matters concerning life and faith. Author of: Who the Blazes is Jesus? Good News for a Vulgar World (available through Amazon in Print and e-book)

This, Our Valley: What to do when your “Grrr Friend” comes to visit

 

"Give up anger, abandon fury, do not be vexed; it can only do harm” Psalm 37:8 (TANAKH)

I don’t go out of my way to be obnoxious. I don’t go out of my way to irritate people. I am careful where I tread, where I walk, how I speak, what I say. I strive not to take offense at every little thing, and strive equally not to give offense. So what’s wrong with me?

The first time I saw a copy of Desiderata, I made it my life’s goal (among many) to “go placidly among the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence” (translated by Max Ehrmann, origin unk).

There is a time and place for anger, of course. Jesus got angry on occasion, but it was seldom for the same sort of reasons you or I might get our dander up. His anger was generally directed at demons (real and metaphorical) that hurt or injured others. Jesus’ anger generally arose from matters of injustice, hypocrisy, or falsehoods in the world around him. 

Me? My anger tends to be egocentric. I have pet peeves and it really irritates me when people go around petting them all the time. 

I had a doctor’s appointment the other day that got changed while I was on my way to their office. It was a routine visit, nothing major, but my inner peeve snapped and growled – took it quite personally. Why didn’t they tell me it was changed when I confirmed the appointment an hour earlier? Grrr.

I like things to start and end on time. When I expect to see my ball game on the telly, but the earlier game is running long or goes into overtime, pre-empting my show until it’s done (the so-called “Heidi rule”) my peeve’s knickers get all bunched up and twisted. You don’t want your hand to be in my bowl of popcorn when that happens; it just isn’t safe! Grrr.

Then there are the world’s polite drivers who arrive at four way stops at the same time I do. They often have the gall to try to out-polite me, and then stop and go repeatedly as we strive mightily to figure out who is finally going to win the game of four-way chicken. Grrr.

That’s life, though, isn’t it? It’s never the big things that get us down or kill us. It’s the million  tiny little things that simply add up, pile up, and mount up until the soul snaps like the back of the proverbial straw-bearing camel. Which reminds me: Where does one get camel’s milk? From the dromedary.

Anyway, I digress. There’s a lot that can get our goats. We’re only human, and as good as life is for most of us, there are tons of little things that can (and do) get us down from time to time. Grrr.

I have often thought about putting up positive-thinking type sticky notes people post on their bathroom mirrors or refrigerators, but then I realize one of my pet peeves are all those silly positive sayings and the clutter they create on those surfaces. I sometimes want to strangle the people who write that saccharine tripe. Grrr.

So, at the risk of being simplistic, maudlin, saccharine, or falsely perky, let me just say that there has been one thing more than any other that has helped me overcome those bouts of anger or frustration that do fall upon me from time to time, and that is this. Wait. Wait. Wait.

That’s it. I don’t mean stopping in the middle of a four-way intersection or doing anything stupid like that. I just mean, wait. Pause. Take a breath or two. Shift your attention for a moment from the thing that is irritating you to something else. Anything else. 

Picture your child or grandchild’s smile. Your dog’s wagging tail. Your spouse’s return home from a trip away. The brightness of the moon or the coo of a morning dove. 

All it takes is a moment to flush the anger from your system, adjust your panties as needed, and “remember what peace there may be in silence.” Have a grrreat week, my friends here in this, our valley.

Keith Axberg writes on matters concerning life and faith. Author of: Who the Blazes is Jesus? Good News for a Vulgar World (available through Amazon in Print and e-book)