Warming up to new life

 

"O God, you are my God; eagerly I seek you … for your loving-kindness is better than life itself ...” Excerpted from Psalm 63

I’ve had a pretty lethargic winter. It has been a struggle to get excited about much of anything. I have a bunch of half-started projects, works in progress and the like that I just can’t seem to focus on doing or finishing. I did manage to finish the puzzle I wrote about a few months ago, glued it up, and mounted it. It turned out surprisingly nice considering I had no idea what I was doing.

Completed Owl Puzzle

I do enjoy finishing projects. Nothing feels as good as being done and looking back with satisfaction on projects or tasks one might have dreaded or put off, and then when it’s done, wondering what the struggle was all about. Why didn’t I just jump on it and do it?

It is quite possible I enjoy all the belly-aching that attends procrastination. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten the “are we there yet” fully purged from my soul, but I’m getting there. Now the delays tend to be more a consequence of old age. Suddenly I find my knees wobbling more than is comfortable when I have to get up.

Kneeling used to come quite naturally to this “man of prayer,” but lately I find genuflecting more of a challenge. Not the kneeling, of course, but getting up. If there isn’t a boulder, tree, railing, or piece of furniture nearby, I routinely find myself asking if whatever I’m trying to do is worth it. The answer is becoming increasingly, no. Weeds have a right to life, and God can hear my prayers better if I deliver them standing. I’m not sure God can hear me over my wheezing, otherwise.

This is quite a sneezy time of year for me. Whenever the tulips and daffodils start to bloom, my lungs want to rest while my nose prefers to run. 

The deer here don’t run; they saunter. They like to eat the tulips out front as they’re bursting forth. I presume they do it for my health (deer being very polite and thoughtful) but my other half prefers to see blooms and blossoms, which seems appropriate as she does live with a blooming idiot.

We tried repelling the deer with sonic devices, but the dogs use them for their potty, cats rub their chins on them, and the deer stand around enjoying what I presume must be tunes from their top-40 sonic playlist. 

This year we changed tactics and have gone with a repellent in a spray bottle that is supposed to be eco-friendly toward the environment, but unfriendly to the hoofed ruminant ungulates of the family Cervidae. The best part of the spray is that it comes with a nozzle that adjusts so one doesn’t have to kneel to apply it. That put the whee! into my wheezer.

With longer days and warmer weather, I’ve found energy returning to body, soul, and spirit. One doesn’t realize just how house-bound and barren one becomes with the loss of sunlight and vitamin-D that accompanies winter. I do enjoy keeping still in winter’s darkness, but find it lasts longer than is healthy. I’ve thought about installing some grow lights around the house for winter time but worry what they may do to my skin or bank account.

Meanwhile, spring has sprung; the clocks have moved forward, and the days are noticeably longer and warmer. The snow geese have passed us by on their way north, while our local feathered friends are busy making nests and babies. The lawn got its first mowing of the season, which I find disturbingly exciting. I haven’t yet broken out into song: “I fought the lawn, and the lawn won,” but it’s early days, as they say.

Sometimes God feels distant, cold, and dark; I find myself yearning for God, like the psalmist. But then Spring comes – for the world and for my soul – and God returns, bringing warmth, new life, and hope. I thank God for the death of lethargy that accompanies the birth of Spring, and hope that you’ll find new life springing forth in your lives as well here in this, our valley. Please don’t eat the tulips, though. Thanks!

Keith Axberg writes on matters concerning life and faith. Author of: Who the Blazes is Jesus? Good News for a Vulgar World (available through Amazon in Print and e-book)

Learning to slow down in the fast track

 "God, you hate nothing you have made …” (Book of Common Prayer, a prayer for Ash Wednesday)

I have walked around the neighborhood a few times over the years and have yet to see any signs that we are living in medieval Europe. Most of the houses are standard frame ranches or split-levels; most are clad with wood siding and/or trimmed in brick; most are connected with wires for utility services (above ground), while pipes for water, waste, and gas are buried out of sight and mind.

It really is quite marvelous how everything works together. Stuff comes in and stuff goes out. Much of it is invisible. 

It boggles the mind, so I really try not to think about it too much. I’m ditzy enough at the best of times!

I mentioned medieval Europe at the top of this column because in the midst of modern (or is it postmodern?) America, many of us find ourselves entering into what seems to be a relic of ages past: Lent. Lent is a season of forty days where people in traditions that recognize Lent are called to engage in a variety of disciplines – to toughen up their faith, if you will.

Christians of all stripes are invited to engage more seriously in “self-examination and repentance; by prayer, fasting, and self-denial …” (Book of Common Prayer, 1979). While these are specifically aimed at Episcopalians in my own faith tradition, I would suggest they are also worthy of consideration by folks in all walks of life. 

We sometimes make fun of folks who choose to give up meat or chocolate for Lent, or make a point of giving extra canned goods to the local food pantries during the season; cleaning out their closets to make donations to local thrift shops and the like. There’s nothing wrong with Spring Cleaning and dieting; nothing to make fun of! 

Seriously. God didn’t put us here to decide what others need to do for a better life. That’s why the focus is on self-examination. You know yourself better than anyone else does. You may or may not even want to change. Who’s to know? There are people who, like Fonzy, can look in the mirror and decide, hey hey hey, what’s to change? Perfect!

But for the rest of us mere mortals, a brief glance in the mirror tells a different story. We avoid the mirror, not to avoid a physical reflection, but because we are convinced we don’t measure up in any way, shape, or form; every effort to change has often been dashed by inattention or the reality of living in a world that thwarts us at every turn.

So what do we do? What can we do?

First, fret not. The angels in the Bible always seem to land with a thwump and cry out, “Fear not!” The point is, God isn’t out to get you, me or anyone else. 

So be still. Open the door to your mind and send the restless spirits out to play; let the peace of your Higher Power come in to sit with you. Don’t even think about talking to God; just let your heartbeats do the speaking, meeting, and becoming one.

Secondly, you may identify something you would like to change. Hand it over to your higher power. Maybe giving up Girl Scout Cookies is what you’re called to do. That’s how the cookie crumbles. But maybe you’ll discover a need to make peace with some person or some event in your life. “Repent” means to change – ideally toward health and healing.

Lent gives us all a chance to pack up the stuff we don’t want or need and hand it off to God. It is a deliberate act of spring cleaning for body, soul, spirit (and home).

It may be food and stuff for the poor. It can also be memories or attitudes that do nothing but weigh us down. Lent gives us a chance to clean the attic of our minds and the basements of our souls – to free us from the clutter of careless lives and all the stuff that gives us grief.

Enjoy your spring cleaning, folks. I feel much better, lighter, and chipper when it’s done. I’m sure you do, too. Blessings to you here in this, our valley.

Keith Axberg writes on matters concerning life and faith. Author of: Who the Blazes is Jesus? Good News for a Vulgar World (available through Amazon in Print and e-book)