This, Our Valley: What to do when your “Grrr Friend” comes to visit

 

"Give up anger, abandon fury, do not be vexed; it can only do harm” Psalm 37:8 (TANAKH)

I don’t go out of my way to be obnoxious. I don’t go out of my way to irritate people. I am careful where I tread, where I walk, how I speak, what I say. I strive not to take offense at every little thing, and strive equally not to give offense. So what’s wrong with me?

The first time I saw a copy of Desiderata, I made it my life’s goal (among many) to “go placidly among the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence” (translated by Max Ehrmann, origin unk).

There is a time and place for anger, of course. Jesus got angry on occasion, but it was seldom for the same sort of reasons you or I might get our dander up. His anger was generally directed at demons (real and metaphorical) that hurt or injured others. Jesus’ anger generally arose from matters of injustice, hypocrisy, or falsehoods in the world around him. 

Me? My anger tends to be egocentric. I have pet peeves and it really irritates me when people go around petting them all the time. 

I had a doctor’s appointment the other day that got changed while I was on my way to their office. It was a routine visit, nothing major, but my inner peeve snapped and growled – took it quite personally. Why didn’t they tell me it was changed when I confirmed the appointment an hour earlier? Grrr.

I like things to start and end on time. When I expect to see my ball game on the telly, but the earlier game is running long or goes into overtime, pre-empting my show until it’s done (the so-called “Heidi rule”) my peeve’s knickers get all bunched up and twisted. You don’t want your hand to be in my bowl of popcorn when that happens; it just isn’t safe! Grrr.

Then there are the world’s polite drivers who arrive at four way stops at the same time I do. They often have the gall to try to out-polite me, and then stop and go repeatedly as we strive mightily to figure out who is finally going to win the game of four-way chicken. Grrr.

That’s life, though, isn’t it? It’s never the big things that get us down or kill us. It’s the million  tiny little things that simply add up, pile up, and mount up until the soul snaps like the back of the proverbial straw-bearing camel. Which reminds me: Where does one get camel’s milk? From the dromedary.

Anyway, I digress. There’s a lot that can get our goats. We’re only human, and as good as life is for most of us, there are tons of little things that can (and do) get us down from time to time. Grrr.

I have often thought about putting up positive-thinking type sticky notes people post on their bathroom mirrors or refrigerators, but then I realize one of my pet peeves are all those silly positive sayings and the clutter they create on those surfaces. I sometimes want to strangle the people who write that saccharine tripe. Grrr.

So, at the risk of being simplistic, maudlin, saccharine, or falsely perky, let me just say that there has been one thing more than any other that has helped me overcome those bouts of anger or frustration that do fall upon me from time to time, and that is this. Wait. Wait. Wait.

That’s it. I don’t mean stopping in the middle of a four-way intersection or doing anything stupid like that. I just mean, wait. Pause. Take a breath or two. Shift your attention for a moment from the thing that is irritating you to something else. Anything else. 

Picture your child or grandchild’s smile. Your dog’s wagging tail. Your spouse’s return home from a trip away. The brightness of the moon or the coo of a morning dove. 

All it takes is a moment to flush the anger from your system, adjust your panties as needed, and “remember what peace there may be in silence.” Have a grrreat week, my friends here in this, our valley.

Keith Axberg writes on matters concerning life and faith. Author of: Who the Blazes is Jesus? Good News for a Vulgar World (available through Amazon in Print and e-book)